Calls for Men to Be Blindfolded in Public
In response to claims that men are unable to restrain themselves from committing rape if they see women in skimpy clothing, members of law enforcement agencies around the country have called for men to blindfold themselves when they are in places where they might encounter a female wearing a tank top or a short skirt.
“For years, we have been told that men don’t understand how to respond to the sight of a woman wearing, say, gym clothes — that as far as they are concerned, if they can see the outline of her body, then that’s an invitation to sex that they are simply unable to refuse,” said one police chief. “If that’s true, then we have no choice. We want women to be safe, and there is apparently no way for some men to reasonably restrain their own behavior once they catch a glimpse of cleavage, so all men will have to cover their eyes while working out, going to bars or clubs, or relaxing at the beach.”
Popular radio “shock jocks” Skeezer and the Gooch have gone even further, arguing that men should be blindfolded at all times while in public, on the grounds that “it’s not just skimpy outfits, some dudes get turned on by random stuff like women wearing athletic jerseys and sneakers,” making situation-specific blindfolding insufficient to preserve women’s safety.
Just leaving this here again…
Alas, it is one year since I last updated, which is mindblowing and utterly embarrassing all at the same time. You all have made the anniversary much brighter with all your posts (which I will be reblogging without shame #SorryI’mNotSorry), and I wish…
What an evil question. And you should’ve at least narrowed it down. An “in television” or “in movies” would have been greatly appreciated. Now I just have this massive pool of applicants and I’m going to overlook one and then I’m going to hate myself. I hope you’re satisfied, Clara. Pshaww.
IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER (because I just can’t):
In honor of theinfalliblemarauderette’s birthday, here is the promised excerpt. I was toying over whether or not to use this one, but it is a birthday excerpt, so I figured it’d better be a good one.
Happy birthday and enjoy! ;)
For Sam—Sorry it was slightly delayed, and sorry that it turned a bit more complex than down-right fluffy, but I hope it still makes you smile. =)
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For as long as she could remember, all she’d ever heard about was his hair.
Everyone was enamoured…
Where was my mate James then? Snoozing in the back of the dungeons, having a bit of a nap? It’s just now—now that all these stupid people are saying all these insanely stupid things—that he’s all, ‘Hm, you know, that Lily, she’s been through a bit, hasn’t she? Perhaps I should see how that’s going’. I mean, how prattish? How utterly and completely prattish?”
I expected some sort of agreement to that—I mean, even James-fan-Gracie had to admit that this was true—but instead all I got was silence. I glanced over at her, preparing to question what was up, when something on her face gave me pause.
She looked…she looked…
She looked rather guilty, actually.
What?
“Gracie,” I started slowly, my eyes narrowing slightly. “Why are you looking like that?”
“Looking like what?” Grace asked quickly, averting her eyes from mine.
Oh, bugger.
Bugger, bugger, bugger.
This was not going to be good. Not good at all.
“Grace,” I went on, a wisp of threat slipping into my voice now, “is there something you need to tell me?”
Grace winced.
Oh, bloody hell, a wince.
So not good.
“Look,” Grace started, grabbing a bit of her hair and twirling it in her fingers. She looked quite as if she’d rather be having teeth pulled. “It’s not like…like I lied to you or anything yesterday, all right? I just sort of…left some things out.”
“What sort of things?” I asked, trying not to groan. I suppose I already knew what sort of things she had “left out”, though, just my bloody luck.
Damn it.
“I think you will happy to hear,” she announced flatly, “that James was not napping in the back of the classroom yesterday.”
…Happy.
You know, not quite the word I would have used.
“Well, if he wasn’t napping,” I said through clenched teeth, “where exactly was he?”
It took a few seconds for Grace to answer. I watched as she scratched idly at the back of her head, her face scrunched up into a half-wince.
“Well, you know,” she finally answered, though I didn’t know. “He was…er…he was doing much like everyone else. Yelling.”
“Yelling?”
“Yeah, a bit.”
Why is it that I didn’t believe that for even a second?
“How much is ‘a bit’, exactly?” I asked, my eyes narrowing. “Like, on a scale of one to ten?”
Grace grimaced.
“Er…” She seemed to be thinking about it. “It’s…he was…er…twelve?”
| — | Commentarius, B.C. Daily (via torowlingwithlove) |
“I think he knows.” Lily said as she walked back into the living room, shuffling her sock adorned feet over to where James sat before a fat and sparkling Christmas tree. The lights twinkled with the sort of shine that only Christmas lights enhanced by a certain amount of magic could, and they reflected back in the window, illuminating the outside just enough that a light snow could be seen falling over the ground.
Pulling his gaze away from that very scene, James smiled up at Lily, motioning for her to join him on the carpet with the pat of his hand and an inviting smile. “Think he knows what, that it’s Christmas?” He chuckled wrapping his arm around her waist as she sat down beside him, nuzzling up against his side. “I don’t doubt that, he’s obviously got my brains.” Lily snorted out her amusement, resting her head against James shoulder as she too looked at the falling snow.
“Of course, and I suppose that messy hair of his is from my side?” she teased, turning her head slightly to smirk up at him, only to find him nodding with a sarcastic seriousness.
James scoffed, tightening his arm around her. “Well obviously, Lily. My hair lies perfectly flat, it would be absurd to even think—” His words were cut off as she suddenly moved to capture his lips in her own, grinning against him as his voice fell flat and was effectively silenced.
“Whatever you say, James.” Lily murmured against the flesh of his lips, poking his nose lightly with her own and laughing as his glasses slid down the bridge of it with the movement.
Pulling away from her to straighten out his spectacles, James took the opportunity to reach behind his back and pull out a Santa hat, smirking as he did so. “I thought this might look nice with your hair,” he teased, pulling the thing over her wavy tresses and having a good laugh at the sight as she tried to straighten it out with little success.
“I suppose I could give you some reindeer antlers,” she suggested, leaning closer to him as if her next words were a secret, not to be overheard by even the house itself. “But you’ve already got that bit covered, haven’t you?”
A smile broke across his lips, toothy and genuine, and he nodded at her words, hand snaking behind his back once more in hopes that she wouldn’t notice. “I suppose you’re right, it’s no fun if I’m the one with the antlers.”
She raised an eyebrow suspiciously as she caught his movement, something he was all too aware of. In fact, he quite liked how perceptive she was, they had always been a good match in more than one way, proven time and time again as she caught any and all of his sneaky acts. As he pulled out a small set of antlers, fit for a baby that obviously were meant for and loved by Harry —the bent wire in the right side, causing one antler to droop more than the other was indication enough of that— Lily pulled the hat from her head and set it lightly on James’, smirking at the sight. Her amusement was quickly squelched as she noticed James pull out his wand to enlarge the antlers.
“Oh no,” she said with a shake of her head, leaning back and just slightly away from him. “The hat was enough, you are not putting those things on me.”
“Who says they’re for you?” He asked, feigning innocence, as he looked at everything in the room but her eyes. “Maybe they’re for Sirius. Bloke always was jealous of my rack.”
With a laugh loud enough that she feared she may wake Harry who slept above, Lily clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle the sound, and inclined her head just close enough to him that he could set the fuzzy antlers atop her head, smiling back at him as he looked on at her.
“You’re beautiful, you know.” He said, so seriously that even after being together for quite some time she was taken aback by the words and how much heart was behind them. Saying anything back felt like a disservice to the proclamation, and so she simply leaned forwards, antlers staying put wonderfully on her head, and pressed a kiss to his lips, light and meaningful, for a moment before nestling up against him once more.
Outside, through the snowy skies and cold December breeze, a clock rang out twelve times through the town and Christmas day began. Remus Lupin slept soundly in his bed alone, covers pulled up to his chin as he was visited by truly nice dreams for the first time in a long time. Peter Pettigrew tossed and turned in his bed, battling with his own thoughts and insecurities, fears and decisions. Sirius Black lay across a couch, fast asleep with a plate of cookies he’d “borrowed” from the Potter’s earlier that day. And in the small village of Godric’s Hollow, a baby slept peacefully in a warm home, dreaming of a man with a magic stick and funny, glass things on his face, and a woman with bright red hair that he liked to tug at. He didn’t know much about these people, only that he loved them very much and that they made him happy.
And downstairs of the very house where that smiling baby slept, James and Lily Potter sat in a peaceful silence as they watched the snow fall and the lights twinkle, listening to the chimes ring out, Christmas hats and all.
“Happy Christmas, James.” Lily said once the house was filled once more with true quietness, her voice soft and tentative as if speaking too loudly would ruin the moment.
James tilted his head, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head where the antlers left room. “Happy Christmas, Lily.”
“Your ears are overly large, did you know that?”
James cracked open an eye. “I’m sorry?”
Lily shifted on top of him, propping an elbow next to his head. Her chin fell into her palm. “Your ears,” she said. “They’re large. Enormous, even.”
“My ears are bloody fine.”
“They’re really not.” She shifted again—to get a better look at his ear, James suddenly realised, and instantly batted her away. But the girl proved determined. She merely swung around to gawk at the other one. “I can’t believe I’ve never noticed before. They’re positively disproportionate.”
“They’re fine.” But James’s hand seemed to lift of its own accord, tracing the outline of the appendage with uncertain fingers. Lily’s grin broadened. James’s hand snapped back down to the bed. “They’re not!”
“Oh, don’t have a cry about it. It’s not complete rubbish.” Lily’s fingers followed the same path his had. “I bet your hearing’s stellar.”
“Your eyes are squinty,” James returned, then caught her hand. “And you’ve the longest, boniest fingers I’ve ever seen. Like claws.”
“Is that the best you’ve got?”
James sifted his hand through her hair. “And you’re a ginger.”
He earned an indelicate snort at that, one muffled against his shirtfront as Lily dropped her elbow and buried her face against his chest. James kept his fingers hidden amidst the ging. Her claws scraped a gentle pattern against the skin above his collar.
“Just face it,” she sighed. “You’ve got big ears and shitty wit. I’m better looking and infinitely more clever. You’re never going to do better than me, Potter. Not ever.”
“We’ll see, Evans. We’ll see.”
art by astralsymphony; drabble by bcdaily
